Today (and yesterday, and everyday for that matter) has been a major FAT day! UGH! I just feel sluggish and lumpy and I hate that I can feel my tummy rolling over the top of my pants when I am sitting down. I only WISH it was just a muffin top....shoot! This thing is a spare TIRE! Nothing is comfortable. And you can forget the diet this week! That went out the window when I went to a pampered chef party and ate like 4 of those s'more bites! And then it took another turn for the worse when I had Papa Murphy's Pizza and buffalo chicken dip the other night. My problem with weight loss is not exercise. I can do that! It is FOOD! Food is my drug. I eat when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am bored, and when I am celebrating. Rarely, do I eat just because I am hungry. I am pathetic when it comes to food. Really, I know that food should NOT be the enemy. But over the years, I have let it become just that. I let it control me...every part of me. I never realized how bad it was until I started trying to eat better this week. Never in my life have I had to work THIS hard to lose weight. And, please, spare me the "but you just had a baby" talk...I had a baby 5 MONTHS AGO! I could have at least lost 10 lbs in that 5 months, am i right?? Instead, I have GAINED 5 lbs. No, the weight I have to lose now, has NOTHING to do with a baby. It has everything to do with my horrible food habits of overeating and boredom snacking. So what now....well, I can tell you one thing, I am NOT posting a pic this Tuesday for Fat Tuesday. I will, however, let you know how Monday and Tuesday go. Other than that, I am just going to take it one day at a time. I am going to find someone here who I can call when I am feeling like I need a food fix. Someone who won't judge me...someone who KNOWS how I feel. Then, I am going to read my Bible and pray. See, one thing I have recently realized is that I have allowed my obsession with food (whether it is about eating it or not eating it) totally become the one and only thing I think about ALL day. Which means, I am allowing it to be my god. The Bible says not to put anything before God, and that is what I have been doing. It also says not to worry about ANYTHING....and I worry about food all day. Whether I am overeating or dieting, it consumes me. So, that's just it. I need to replace all of that with God's word. So, from now on...I am going to pray every morning that God helps me to know when I am truly hungry and ask him to guide me in making nutritious choices for my body. Then, I will bless my food (because my MIL says that if you don't bless your food you get double the calories....yikes!). Then, all day, when I am feeling bored or depressed, or happy, or celebratory, I am going to open my Bible and read. I am going to do this for 40 days. (According to the Bible, 40 days is the magic number, right??) Throughout that time I will blog my progress (minus the picture)...and after that 40 days, I will take my 2nd picture. What can you do?? Well, if you want to go on this journey with me, I would LOVE to hear from you. If you don't then I would LOVE it if you could just pray for me. I want this to not only be a time for me to shrink physically, but to GROW spiritually, as well!!! 1 Timothy 4:8 says, "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." That is my answer, straight from God himself!!!
Wow! I totally did not know that I would come up with all of that. Really, I just wanted to complain about how horrible I have done this week on my weight loss journey. Instead, I complained a little, and came up with a solution in one sitting! Well, I didn't do anything. I believe that God allowed me to sort out my thoughts just enough to get a clear head so that He could tell me what I needed to do in this situation. So...I am done rambling for now and....I actually DO feel MUCH better! :)
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